Getting Inspired

For me I need something to look forward to. With Covid and the cancellation of well everything this year, I find that there’s a lack of excitement; a lack of something to keep the joy alive.

I thrive when I know I’ve got something to look forward to. I find it makes everything more exciting. But this year has been a struggle because what is there to look forward to, really?

I was meant to be in Australia right now, travelling through towns, cities and states. Starting a life of adventure for the foreseeable future. Who knows when I will be able to begin this dream I’ve had. I try not to dwell on this, sometimes it just comes up and then it’s hard to think about anything else. I remind myself that there’s nothing I can do about this current situation so that does help a little.

I think it’s about getting inspired. Inspired to have something to look forward to if that makes sense. Finding something to get excited about. This isn’t easy though. I try and focus on the little things. The things that get me through the day feeling joyful. I don’t want to just feel like I’ve survived the day; that I’m pleased with myself for just watching another day go by. There needs to be more to my daily life than just surviving it.

I have started a TEFL course. This is something that although I can lack the energy for after a long day at work, it does give me some kind of enjoyment, to be able to know I’m working towards something that potentially will benefit me in life.

I think date nights are important. Me and my boyfriend have been together 9 years and we have always made time to celebrate each other. But recently with Covid we haven’t got out of our flat much to spend time with just us. So I took it upon myself to book a table at a new restaurant to us both. Because we live together it’s easy to feel too comfortable and not put effort in. But it’s important. Seeing him after work still brings me happiness and the novelty of living together still hasn’t warn off. But having a date night to look forward to is exciting. To treat ourselves and escape our little reality for a bit is needed occasionally.

I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a lull recently. Struggling to want to do much on my days off. Feeling like I need to rest, which is correct but sometimes this feeling stops me from participating and being present. I try and make one day a productive day, to see friends and family, to get outside into nature and then other day I take for myself. But sometimes I can become a sloth and the absence of connections can bring me down. It’s hard sometimes to encourage myself to be proactive, because honestly this year has been hard mentally. Sometimes I want to sit in my own misery and just be. But in reality I don’t want this. I want to be doing more, exploring more but my energy levels have reduced so I sink further into the sofa.

Finding excitement has become harder but in someways I have found simpler things much more impactful. This year this taught me that, so for that I am grateful. I used to pin all my excitement on booking our next holiday or trip away. I would count the days down in my diary and wish the days away until I was there. Now that this isn’t really possible, I have to change my tactic. I think I need to except this reality for what it is. Know that this is temporary and actively search for excitement in things that maybe before I took for granted.

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