Another meditation class done. A sense of peace and calm flows over me as I lay on soft rug beneath me. My mind feels light but also full of thought. I think about my day and what I am grateful for.
Today I had a zoom workshop about workplace positivity and dealing with stress and ways to create better teams. Part of this meeting involved speaking to colleagues of my workplace that I had never met before. This, at first, filled me with dread and anxiety. For me speaking to people I don’t know or having my voice be heard by a group of people, is a big cause of stress and anxiety. So I was nervous. Yet looking back on this, I realise I did my fair share of talking and when I actually got into conversation I realised my nerves had pretty much gone. I felt listened to and this didn’t bring about fear! So realising this in the meditation, came as quite a surprise because my confidence is growing. The pre-event worry and anxiety is much more intense than the actual situation itself. This is something I have been working on for years with therapy and understanding my own anxiety. Don’t get me wrong I’m not ready to give a speech to a room of people but this was definitely a learning experience for me and I am grateful for the meditation for making me realise this. I am learning and growing as a person. Who knows, maybe if Covid hadn’t have hit and zoom calls weren’t a thing, maybe I wouldn’t have had this growth in the first place.
I now bring my thoughts back to the present and where I am right now. My current state of being is still calm but a sense of relief creeps in. Relief that I am challenging my inner demons that tell me people don’t care about what I have to say and that maybe I can articulate my feelings better than I give myself credit for. As I lay on the rug and feel the softness under my body, I breathe in and centre my thoughts. I try not to get so into my head when it gets later in the evening. I try and remain peaceful and not too thoughtful as I want to be relaxed before I sleep. Sleep to me is a chance for my body and mind to heal from the day. I have spent too many nights feeling anxious and overthinking situations I cannot fix in that moment. So before bed I unwind.
I meditate most nights before I close my eyes to sleep. This is something I would recommend. Focusing my mind onto breathing rather than the worries of the day really help; I am sleeping better because of this.
I think it’s important to unwind and be present in the moment in the evening. Try not to dwell too much into your emotions when it gets darker at night (she says writing a post at 9pm about her feelings). However if you are anxious and struggling to get off to sleep, write about your day and the positives you faced. This has helped for me tonight. I feel a sense of achievement and joy, this should result in a better and more complete sleep.