Sometimes I just listen. I am a listener. I find it easier. The search for words in a busy mind can be hard. Like finding a formed snowflake in a snowstorm. They’re all around in head but finding a proper one can be tricky.
My mind races a lot. Sometimes I’m like a duck paddling in water. A calm, peaceful person for the world to see but then underneath the cogs in my brain just keep turning.
I’ve been described as laidback and chilled. Hearing this was surprising, as to me my mind doesn’t always allow for this behaviour.
I’ve learnt over the years to prioritise thoughts and feelings. But some days I just feel like I need an umbrella in the snowstorm.
Having the inspiration to find the words when my mind is busy can be hard. With my mind whirling, writing can sometimes be a struggle. I can have a collection of thoughts that I share singularly and solely to myself because those words are just for me. So being able to differentiate between a personal feeling and something I want to share can be tricky.
In my personal diary I find the words easier sometimes. I can just write exactly what my mind is saying and know it’s just for me to see and get off my chest. But when I want to share my thoughts I can feel like there’s an editor sitting inside my brain editing and searching for better, more articulate words.
And sometimes I feel this in life. I filter what I’m saying before it comes out of my mouth, like most people I’m sure. The words can be harder to find when your mind is thinking of 5 million other things. Sometimes the words come too easily. On occasion the words are right there, being spat out before having the filter has been placed upon them.
Right now, writing this, I feel like I’m searching maybe too hard to find the words in order for this to make any sense.
I never want to try too hard to find the words because it doesn’t feel authentic.
I like to talk from my heart, as honestly it’s much easier than bypassing the brain.
As I get older authenticity is important to me. The words I say and how I say them need to be real, otherwise I’m just kidding myself.
My ego has somewhat shrunk. To some, sharing their thoughts might seem too much. The opinions of others might seem too loud. Louder than their thoughts. I guess this can relate to finding the words in a busy mind.
If your mind is full of the opinions of others, you may not have room for your own opinions. And that to me sounds like a pretty boring mind. So I guess you could say the words have become clearer as I’ve gotten older.
Easier to find.
When you take your ego out of the equation, the words might come flooding in.